The Rich Young Man.

The Rich Young Man.

I was raised in a very strict family home. My father was a very religious man, and a regular attendee of the synagogue, he made sure that I also attended and paid attention to what was happening and what was being said. So I learned from the teachers of the law.

As I grew older I frequently became involved in the synagogue discussions and help my own in many of the religious debates. In truth, it was often the case that I more than held my own; I frequently came out on top of the debate. I did enjoy debating with the elders of the synagogue.

As I grew older the things of the synagogue became less important. What I was really looking for was how to find the way of life that would bring me happiness.  I wanted," the good life." I still made sure that I kept the commandments, I observed all the holy days and festivals and I made all the sacrifices expected of a young man like myself.  I often did that little bit more than was expected of me, so I lived my life fulfilling the laws of the synagogue and yet seeking to find the way that would bring me more.

All of this I did and yet I kept asking myself what was it that was missing from my life? Why was I not happy? I felt unsettled and seldom content and kept asking myself what was it that I was looking for? Something was missing, something that I just could not put my finger on. 

I was well off financially, I had all and more than a young man of my age could expect to have. In reality, I was better off than a great many of my peers. I had a good job, I had servants who did all the things that we would rather not have to do ourselves. Why then was I not content and happy with my lot? What was it that was eating away inside me making me feel restless?

It was while I was doing all this inner searching and asking myself all these questions that I began to hear talk of a man named Jesus. I heard exciting rumours about this man, people seemed to be stirred by his words. He was preaching and debating with people about seeking and finding the Kingdom of God. 

The more I heard about this man the more I felt convinced that this seemed to speak to my inner yearnings. There was something about his talking of having a true relationship with God that stirred me. I found myself asking if I did, in fact, have any real relationship with Him? This man Jesus seemed to be saying that it was possible to have a life full of religion and yet not know God. He spoke as if there was a quality of knowing. There was a difference between knowing about God and actually knowing God.

This seemed to be very much in harmony with the thoughts I had been having. I found myself more and more plagued with the questions, did I know God, did I really know him?

Another thing I heard that he spoke about was inheriting Eternal Life. That certainly took hold of my inner thinking, here was somebody speaking about some of the deeper more meaningful questions that often filled my thinking. This I wanted to hear more about. He was talking about life, and more than life, this was indeed radical thinking.

I made up my mind that I had to seek out this man and speak with him. So I set about finding out where he was and where I could make sure I had the opportunity to speak with him. This was not difficult, he was after all the talk on everybody's lips.

Finding him was, as I suspected not at all difficult, but finding an opportunity to talk with him was not so easy. He was constantly surrounded by people.

After a few attempts, I managed to find myself near the front of the crowd, helped by my obvious wealth and fine dress. "What do I have to do to inherit this Eternal Life you speak of?" I asked him. I had found an opportunity to speak with him and I was not going to waste it talking small talk- get in there with the important questions- do not waste this chance, I thought.

I was taken aback. He was having none of my superior attitudes. Without answering me he began to question me about my life. What did I know about God and religion?

I left him in no doubt. I told him that I kept all the laws of God, that I attend synagogue worship regularly, that I did all that was expected of me and a little bit more. 

Then came the ridiculous. "Then sell what you have and give it to the poor," he said. "Then come and follow me."

You have to be joking I thought. Sell all I had, and give it all away. Give away all I possessed? This man must be mad. Whoever heard such stupid ideas and suggestions? It was God who had given me all that I possessed so why would I want, or why would he want me to give it all away. I reasoned that God had given me all of this because I was a good and righteous person.

Why should I contemplate for one moment giving away all I had? I was certain of one thing, such talk was nonsense. This man had got it all wrong. Give away all I have?  Such talk was utter nonsense indeed.

So I turned and left. As I walked away I expected him to follow after me. He had spoken of joining him and following him, he realised that I would indeed be a good catch, a good person to be part of his band of followers. There would not be many with the wealth that I had who wanted to do right by their religion, he was sure to come after me he would not wish to lose me.

No, he did not come after me, he left me to walk away. Twice I wondered if I should return and give him a second opportunity to change his mind and accept me as I was. Deep down inside as I walked away from him I knew I was deluding myself. This man was not going to come after me, he had spoken his mind and was not going to change it. 

I could see that and that this was going to be no more than one of those little episodes in my life.

Yet I still to this day feel that there is something sadly wrong with my life. My religion does not bring any sense of contentment that seems to be with those who follow, "The Way," seem to have. That is what they are now calling the followers of this man Jesus, followers of the way. They, unlike me, seem to have found a feeling of inner peace and a real sense of contentment. I still do not have that courage required to give myself to follow him. I am tempted but afraid to make the decision.

It is the case that if we desire to find meaningful life and purpose in our lives it will not come free. Sacrifice has to be made. It frequently means letting go of some of the things that stop you from finding that inner peace and calm. It is no simple matter to put your trust in a belief or an idea if it means letting go of the things in life held dear.